i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
