Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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