People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
