Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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