I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
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You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
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I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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