Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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