I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
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Did I show you my penis last night?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
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We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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