By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
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