We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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