I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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