there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
