Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mondays should just be called national damage control day
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize