Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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