i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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