Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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