never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
