so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We need a shit load of segways right now
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
