And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
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