Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
