p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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