I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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