The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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