I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.