tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
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I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
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No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no