can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
