When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
