i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
