I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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