wat bout pragnant strippers??
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize