Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
