Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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