It's just like the Real World with babies
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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