I wish I could teleport
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
