Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
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They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
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Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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