Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
