You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
