"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
