And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
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do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
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Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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