Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
