Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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