You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
