I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
