So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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