The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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