I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
