I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
