What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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