So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
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You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
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im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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