we made out on top of his cat.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
