So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
stop calling my apartment porn island.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
