I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The chlamydia really affected his face.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
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