dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
