That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
