she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
