You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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